We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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