so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My pussy is not your playground.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
