ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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