speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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