you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
