he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
