listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
