I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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