love makes seman taste better
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
