Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
