he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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