So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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