Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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