I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
