; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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