My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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