hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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