Where did you get a picture of my penis
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
