Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
