Porn is love you can see.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
