I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i've created a new STD.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
