Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
