end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
