She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
