just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
