im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
