TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
