So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
