She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
