the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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