You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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