One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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