i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
