He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
