I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
