just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i would punch a child for taco bell
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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