Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
