Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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