All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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