Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
