sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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