I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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