the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
