I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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