You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
