we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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