I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
