What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
