Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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