Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
