Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
