tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
