rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
