We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
